The Soap Factor

These shrieky, loud Indian TV soaps are really frazzling me out. There is nothing in this world that can stop a household woman from watching soap idiots at primetime. Poor me, my PC is right beside the BPL box! All I try and do is bear the ignominy and let my Ma watch the catfight unfolding on the screen. I noticed a few common traits in all these dramas:
1. The male-female ratio is 80:20
2. All the women are clad in super jewellery and heavy saris
3. The family is always happy and gay, until the vamp enters the scene
4. The vamp is generally voluptuous
5. 75% of the show is devoted to high decibel background music
6. The music reaches fever high pitch, when the vamp blurts accusations
7. At the end of the accusations, a sad song erupts lasting for 10 minutes
7. 75% of the camera shots are close up shots of the women
8. Crying/tears take up 20% of the time
9. Shouldn't sound too chauvinistic. The men generally have extra-marital affairs
10. The whole damn thing is entirely predictable.

No wonder, men come home late and watch comedy shows!